Though I’m not handy, I have a reason to be.
Though I’m not handy, someone may need me.
Though I’m not handy, I want no dependence.
Though I’m not handy, I built a workbench.
I have an unexpected motivation.
Growing up, my family had a shore house. My parents got a place in a cheap area that consisted of five apartments. Four were rented, and we lived in the fifth. The rentals covered the mortgage and we were fortunate enough to spend our summers at the beach.
My dad’s uncles were very handy. They would come over to help my dad do everything from framing a door to building a deck. We were lucky. They made the place look nice and we reaped the benefits of it. My dad also did a lot on his own, though.
He would go down before rental season started and open all the units back up. He handled the upkeep and basic upgrades. Sometimes, he would bring me with him to give him a hand. I was unequivocally terrible at it.
One year, he asked me to paint, setting me free with a dripping roller in my hand and a big, goofy grin on my face. I never thought of asking for more information about the task at hand. So, a swatch of jagged white lines ended up on an unsuspecting victim. That brick wall bared its scars as a memorial to my mistake until the day the building was torn down.
It was great that my dad could be handy when needed. It helped him get things done the way he saw fit while saving money along the way. My father-in-law is incredibly handy as well. He’s helped us build and repair things, sometimes doing so without prompting or our knowledge.
I understand that now.
I always thought he couldn’t sit still, and that may be true. It’s more, though. He wants to help his kids. He’s looking out for them and, by extension, his in-laws. That’s an inspiration.
College is right around the corner for my kids. I swear they were born last year, though. I guess not. My daughter will be an adult in a handful of months and my son is not far behind. I’m not prepared for that, but I can start preparing now.
If college came that quickly then, in the blink of an eye, they may find love, marry, and start their families. They will need help, just like we did. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to just write them blank checks, but I can do more for them. I can fix their leaking faucet, frame a door, build a bunk bed, or repair a car when it breaks down on the side of the road.
Well, I can’t yet, but I will be able to in due time. I’m starting to learn all of that now, and it begins with a workbench. That’s what I’ve been building this week, and it sucks.
I should clarify. The process of building it is fine, but the craftsmanship is weak. That’s okay, though. I’m actually doing this without tutorials and, for the most part, without the right tools. I want shit to break. I want it to rock. I want splinters of wood sticking in my fingers as I stain it.
That’s how I learn — by doing. I need to do things the wrong way to learn the right one, and I’d rather do that on my own projects than when the time comes that they need my help. I can’t quantify the amount of joy this brings me.
I love working with my hands. It gives me purpose. Even if I do things the wrong way, seeing the tangible result is so satisfying. Knowing that I’m doing this with the long-term goal of helping my kids is empowering.
I think I missed my calling. Sort of. I wasn’t meant to be a carpenter or anything like that, but I also wasn’t meant to sit at a computer all day, prematurely burning out my retinas and giving me back problems. Nobody was. It’s not natural. Then again, neither is capitalism, but that’s why we’re tethered to screens.
This modern life, right?
I’ve heard it’s not terribly uncommon that some affluent people may hesitate to let their kids live in the lap of luxury. I believe the rationale is that they want their kids to feel like they’ve earned what they get. That makes sense.
I can’t say how I would handle a situation like that if I was in it. However, I do know I want to be there for them whenever they need me, and I think learning to be handy is a step in that direction.
Relatable, I feel like I'm so behind on that stuff. My dad was a little handy and did a few things on his own but didn't end up passing any of that on.
Nice job on the workbench! You’re a great dad💙